Let it Break

My friend Raf, who I consider one of the wisest women in my life said, “Look at it this way, when it’s time to let go of one friend, you make room for a new friend.”   My luck has changed, for if I hadn’t let go of an old friend I wouldn’t have opened a chasm that deepened horribly neglected friendships.  Rightfully, this thing had to break. I readily opened my heart to make room for new friendships.  Surprisingly there they were, ready to, well, be friends. And I got a job.  If you know me, employment has been a rough road I have traversed for a solid two years.  When you are in your 50s and you find yourself behind a hostess booth at a seafood restaurant something has gone desperately wrong. I now book The Delancey nightclub on Wednesday and Thursday nights.  My shows start in February, the very first one features Joseph Arthur (an old friend) and Leona Naess (possibly a new friend). 

This job sought me out. I was in the right place at the right time. The owners approached me when they figured out that this person sitting in a freezing doorway had a legacy as a successful A&R executive.  At first I thought it was horrible that I was forced to sacrifice this particular friendship, but it wasn’t my decision.  This was a choice made because someone did not want to play in the same sandbox. Instead they thought the way to have fun was through slanderous, bad behavior.  This behavior isn't pretty at my age.  I can no longer, "he said, she said..." I've done it (millions of times), but now I don’t.  Pour the poison and drink it.  I've drank the kool-aid, and it hurts. The other disappointment is I hate playing alone, and I wanted to do this job together.  My mother tells me I always had to have a friend around.  At four years old I went looking for community.  While working for The Delancey I want supportive people, nutty people and especially people with ideas to play with.  Georgie, one of the owners, is someone I am proud to call my partner.  A larger then life personality, a person brimming with ideas, a music fanatic, a man who respects and supports me, and a man who is not threatened by the ideas of others.  A man who when he’s sad listens to The Bay City Rollers.  Right, right, right on! I am in a place that is beyond my wildest dreams.  Right now.  Today.  Living present.  “Be present,” that is the motto my friend Ellen whispered into my ear at the very moment the first notes of “Lust for Life” tore through The United Palace Theatre.  Both her words and that song have stayed at the forefront of my mind.  I’m lucky, even when I refuse to see it.  I am.

Booking The Delancey is a learning curve for me.  I’ve never produced live music.  I have found artists, made records, helped market them and the stuff that we used to do when major labels and A&R people existed.  Whoa, this time around I opened the door and the wildest west greeted me. However, when I opened that door I knew Art is going to boom in 2017.  We are about to experience some of the best of what our new and old artists can offer. The music, visual art, film, television, social media, technology, science, all the artistic communities across nations are in gear to astound us.  In gear, groovy, a revolution we have needed for decades.  I should kneel everyday in honor of what we have and what is coming.  Having a very small place in this playground is an honor. If this new president guy blows us all up I want to be in the basement of the Delancey with Sam in the DJ booth, surrounded Charley Roth, Jesse Malin, Miss Cid, Miss Kitty, Gary Harris, Michael Alago, Asif Ahmed, Juli, Stevie Nick’s impersonators (for color), and a whole bunch of folks who inspire me everyday.  This list is far too long to write down, but you know who you are (and a lot of you get pissed off when I mention you in my blog).

Many of you dear readers know what it’s like to piece your lives back together.  First something breaks. Then we get to work fixing it.  I see mental, emotional and real toolboxes everywhere.  We are not building objects that hurt humanity, frankly we’ve seen too much, too readily, too easily and we’ve said, “ouch, this hurts,” far too often.  We are re-building ourselves and repairing our community.  Stop for one moment and look around.  It’s all happening.  If it isn’t, break something. 

You don’t have to break a relationship.  Break your nail.  You may realize you don’t need to get them “done” every week and that 90 minutes could be spent tutoring a kid who doesn’t speak English.  Break a guitar string and pick up a drumstick.  Damn, you didn’t know you had that in you, right?  Break an agreement.  There’s a better one out there for you.  Break a bad habit, suddenly you might start a blog, or become Patti Smith’s best friend.  If by chance you do break a heart, well, maybe you’ll realize you needed some time to your self.  I broke my knee, kind of, and all of a sudden I had time to find a new job.  That was pretty weird.  Hobbling around in a brace led to sitting at home behind my desk booking cool shows.  I hope you’ll come to some of them.  Maybe one of those shows will rock your world, make you laugh, get really drunk and find a new person to love, or just have some great sex. 

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.  Things change when they’re supposed to.  I did find out that when I broke a few things; a heart, an old friendship, my knee, my desperation, (and hopefully my penchant to write run on sentences), that all these fabulous people and opportunities appeared.  The Damned tells us to “Smash it up.”  They are onto something.

Dedicated to Ellen Marino who daily reaffirms my lust for life.